Not until we're dead
by dqtl74
Summary: An insight into what went through Tyreese's mind after Carol's confession. Contains spoilers for Season 4 of The Walking Dead.


Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of the characters. They belong to Robert Kirkman and AMC.

A/N – So I'm back with another story after all the wonderful comments from the last one. It contains stuff from the same episode as the last one so I'm sorry to all those who were expecting something completely new. I may branch out to other characters and storylines or maybe even other movies or shows if I ever have inspiration strike. Might even begin a multi-chaptered story. For now though, please enjoy this short piece from yours truly.

**Not until we're dead**

The lantern flickered brightly in the darkness, illuminating the faces of the man and woman sitting on opposite ends of the table. The events of the day had shocked both of them to the core, and they could do nothing but ponder as to where they went from here.

The puzzle between them lay untouched, the pieces strewn across the table messily. Whatever life they had envisioned for themselves here was long gone. Shattered by a single day. There was no living here. This place now held too much death, too much misery.

Carol glanced down at the gun in her hand. She couldn't keep it to herself any longer. He had a right to know. She was putting her life in his hands. If he decided that her life was forfeit, then so be it. She was ready.

Tyreese looked up as he heard something sliding across the table. Carol had placed her gun in front of him. Confused, he gave her a questioning glance. Her eyes didn't meet his at first, but then she spoke.

"I killed Karen and David."

For a moment, Tyreese couldn't register what she had just said.

"I had to stop the illness from breaking out, I had to stop other people from dying."

The wound in Tyreese's heart opened again as he heard his former lover's name being spoken. He looked at Carol silently as he struggled to process her words.

"It wasn't Lizzie… it wasn't a stranger… Tyreese, it was me."

A mixture of rage and anguish surged through his body, threatening to choke him as he looked away. It couldn't be true. Not Carol.

"You do what you have to do."

It was Carol's turn to look down. It was done. There was no going back now. Fear enveloped her as Tyreese's hands gripped the edges of the table, his knuckles slowly turning white. He was going to kill her, she was sure. She had no intention of stopping him. If she was to see her daughter again, by god it was about time.

Tyreese looked down at the gun, unable to shake the sense of hurt and betrayal that was creeping into every fiber of his being. All this time, he was sure Karen's death had been murder. He remembered his dreams, the faceless figure ending her life as she lay helpless and still. How he was always too late to late stop them. Her lifeless eyes staring up at him, her beautiful face fixed in a mask of sorrow.

"Did she know what was happening?" His voice was barely a whisper. "Was she scared?"

He looked up at Carol, and what he saw dampened his anger slightly. Carol had tears in her eyes, her face forlorn and downcast. She seemed so lost, so pitiful. He had seen that look only earlier today, after she had killed Lizzie.

"It was quick?"

Carol nodded slightly as a single tear streaked down her face.

"Yes."

Tyreese's hands wandered to the gun and he gripped it with such force he was sure it was going to break apart in his hand. She had no right, he thought, no right to decide the fate of another human being like that. Karen might have survived. She could have been here right now. But Carol had denied her that chance. But if he killed Carol, what would that make him?

"Do what you have to do."

Her pained voice broke through his thoughts. She feels it, he realized. It had not been done out of spite or malice. She had felt it was necessary sacrifice to ensure the safety of many. If he killed her, it would simply be to abate his own selfish desire for vengeance.

He thought back to the prison, and to all the bodies of the people who had perished while he and the others had travelled to secure the medicine. People he had been too late to save. What if she had been one of them? His heart ached as he imagine her face, with blood streaming from her eyes and pouring from her mouth. It was a horrible way to die, and he wouldn't have wished it on anyone.

Perhaps Carol had done Karen a mercy? Spared her from that agonizing fate that he would have been powerless to stop. But it was useless to dwell on such thoughts. She was gone. What mattered was this woman sitting before him right now. He stared down at the gun. She had given him the power that she had once possessed. To decide the fate of another.

So he decided.

He released the gun from his grip and placed his hand down next to it slowly. No. No more. There had been enough death that day. He looked up at Carol, whose face was still cast downward as she no doubt waited for him to carry out his sentence. He could never forget, but he knew she wouldn't either. He was right when he had said that he didn't know if he could find the trust they shared anywhere else. They were all each other had now.

"I forgive you."


End file.
